Celebrating Cultural Differences

I heard this story recently, and it’s a great way to start this discussion: 

An American businessman stood at the pier of a small coastal village in Mexico, when a small boat carrying a lone Mexican fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The fisherman replied, “Only a little while.”

The American then asked, “If it took only a little while to catch these fine fish, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more fish?” The fisherman explained that this catch was enough to support his family's immediate needs.

The American then asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The fisherman replied, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, and stroll into the village each evening, where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, señor.”

The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats. Eventually, you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then L.A., and eventually New York City, where you would run your expanding enterprise.”

The fisherman asked, “But señor, how long will this all take?”

The American replied, “Fifteen to twenty years.”

“But what then, señor?” inquired the Mexican. The American laughed and said, “That's the best part. When the time is right, you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions.”

“Millions, señor? Then what?” asked the Mexican.

The American said, “Why, then you would retire, of course—move to a small coastal fishing village where you could sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, and stroll into the village in the evenings, where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

It’s funny how many Americans/Canadians/Europeans retire to the various expat communities in Mexico to relax and take life a little slower; however, then get frustrated with the “laid back” culture when things are moving too slow or not as quickly as we think they should.  It’s an ongoing joke here that “mañana” does not really mean tomorrow, because (in reality) mañana never comes.  What our Mexican friends really mean by saying mañana is they will get to it, sometime.  As long as you know that up front, you should not have any other expectations! 

Hmmm…….seems to me our Mexican friends have it right to start with, best to embrace this concept than fight it I say!

Adios for now, it’s Siesta time…J 

On Homesickness

There are these cactuses in Mexico – I’m sure they’re in other places too, but I’ve only ever seen them in Mexico – that are like flat paddles with long sharp needle-like things on them, so they are prickly. If you grab them without thick gloves it feels like your hand was dipped in acid for about two minutes, which is a long time when your hand feels like it’s been dipped in acid. During those two minutes you’re running to wash your hands and then you’re washing your hands and you can’t think of anything else except the blinding pain. And then the pain subsides and it’s hard to remember how badly it hurt.  Kind of like childbirth, the pain is unbearable, but it passes, and then you forget (until next time). 

This is what homesickness feels like, except the blinding pain is inside you so there’s no washing it out; you’ve got to ride it out until it subsides. And when you’re fully ensconced in a life that’s thousands of miles from the aforementioned home, you pray it does subside because the alternative – a tailspin into abject unhappiness followed by the crash of an enormous life change – is unthinkable. In the meantime, your existence is pulled apart as you go through your life here while your heart and soul are there, even if you are living in paradise. 

A few things should be noted about homesickness:

•   It’s not the same as missing a person or a place, although missing can turn into homesickness if not kept in check. If you’re missing someone, get in contact with them ASAP. If it’s a place you’re missing, do whatever you can to have the place you’re in overwhelm you.

•   It’s not the same as home pride. I cry like a baby whenever I hear the National Anthem over here, but it doesn’t make me want to take the next plane to America.

•   It’s not the same as negative culture shock, at least as far as expats go. While culture shock is a very real thing, it makes you more pissed off and disconcerted than anything else. Homesickness makes you ache.

•   It’s dangerous to mistake nostalgia for homesickness. You can’t bring back the past, even if you go back to the physical place.

•   It’s always a big freaking surprise. There’s no predicting it, which means there’s no avoiding it.

•   Its trigger is inconsistent. You can look at a photo or listen to a song or watch a movie or hear from someone back home a million times with no homesickness; then it triggers a crushing weight of homesickness; then the next time you’re fine.

•   It’s out of your control. Although I’m not sure why you’d want to, theoretically you could work yourself into a lather missing someone through conscious effort. Homesickness is more like actual sickness, like a cold – you’re feeling fine and all of sudden, “Dammit, now where did this stuffy nose come from?”

And, like a cold, homesickness does subside and get better.  “This too shall pass.” 

The key to avoiding any type of rapid reoccurrence of homesickness is to stay busy, meet new friends, embrace your new surroundings and new culture.  GET OFF THE COUCH AND OUT OF THE HOUSE!!! Go for a walk.  The more you walk, the quicker you will become a local, spewing off your own advice on how best to get from point A to point B. Furthermore, as we all know, exercise releases endorphins which reduce stress and elevate mood. So when your transition away from home brings its inevitable downswings, walking will cheer you up.  As long as you are not walking to the bar daily - alcohol isn't going to help.  

On the flip-side, you’re in a new city or town, and/or country, so make sure that you explore the elements of your new surroundings that make it unique. Buy a guidebook and hit all the hot tourist spots. Even if it feels cheesy, those landmarks, museums, and adventures are part of what makes your new home special, so go see what all the fuss is about. In fact, this new practice of hitting the hot-spots is a good habit to bring home with you after your stay abroad; when you return, look at your “old” town with fresh eyes and visit all those special places that you’ve been meaning to check-out, but just haven’t made the time for yet. Just as living like a local in a new place has amazing rewards, so does sometimes living like a tourist in your old hometown.

Rain, Rain, Go Away Already!

We are into day thirteen of another deluge of rain.  There is a 90% chance of rain again tomorrow. I lived in the Chesapeake Bay region in Maryland for most of my life, where we would get powerful fall storms, most of which were categorized as “tropical.”  The rain would pour, it would be windy, and then the next morning, it was gone!  I remember loving to watch these storms.  There was a house up the street that had this beautiful big oak tree in the front yard.  When we had a storm I would sit on my covered porch and watch that tree dance in the wind.  We also got a hurricane or two, during which my kids and I would have “storm” parties.  Even if the storm turned out to be a dud, we still had fun. 

We are currently in the rainy season in the Riviera Maya.  This period starts around the middle of June until the middle of October or so.  Then, from November until the beginning of May – pure paradise!  Not much rain, lower humidity, and very comfortable sleeping weather.  We have had a few bouts of tropical storm-type rain this summer.  They can be pretty fierce, but we have hurricane shutters on all the windows and doors just in case.  I have only closed them once.  Here I get to watch the palm trees “dance.”  They go into contortions that the oak tree back in Maryland couldn’t even begin to manage.  Then, after a few days, the sun comes back out, everything is fresh, albeit a little humid.  Even though it is hotter and more humid during these months, it is still delightful to be here. 

 Dancing Palm Tree Hard to Capture on Photo

Humidity is a part of any tropical climate, and is a force to be reckoned with.  We have to keep closet and cabinet doors open from time to time, plus have moisture trappers in each one to keep the mugginess to a minimum.  Anything metal that is not stainless steel will rust.  Period.  No getting around it.  Leather items need to be treated regularly with leather conditioner or a mold-like substance forms on it, or the humidity actually dries it out. Something to keep in mind when planning on what to bring if you are considering moving here.  There are some benefits though, my skin has never felt or looked better! 

What is interesting is, regardless of the rain, when I go through the town center here, there are still plenty of folks walking around.  The restaurants are full, and there are plenty of people in the lagoon swimming with the dolphins, so rain does not stop activity here.

Tropical storms aside, I look forward to this winter when I know from December through March how cold it is in Maryland, it will be beautiful, sunny, and warm here.  Every place has its good points and bad points, but warm winter weather is definitely a plus to me! 

Let’s face it, a rainy day in paradise is always better than a sunny day sitting in an office! 

Grocery Shopping in Mexico

I have learned that if you really want to experience the flavor of the culture of a particular country, go to the local grocery store or food market!  Not the stores found in resort areas, but where the residents go to do their shopping.  You are not always going to find what you set out to purchase, and in some cases you do, it’s just called something else!

There are a number of options in the area where I live.  Of course there are the American companies -- Walmart, Sam’s, and Costco.  In these mega-stores you can often find some of the items that you are accustomed to using at home, but there are still noticeable cultural differences. 

The first thing that I noticed was that the Mexicans here do not refrigerate their eggs!  That took some getting used to, but the eggs are really very good, so I adapted easily.

 

One of the more positive things I learned was that farmers do not use pesticides here, so the produce is very fresh.  In fact it’s so fresh you need to go a few times per week, else you run the risk of having to throw away the fruits and vegetables that go bad quickly.  Fortunately, in our community, there is a farmers market open twice a week where we can get fresh produce. 

This is just the rice! 

I know that supermarkets in the United States feature aisles upon aisles of processed foods; cereals, packages of quick side dishes, just about anything canned.  Not so here.  Instead, there are entire aisles of rice and beans.  I had no idea there were so many different varieties!!!  Not to mention the cheese and yogurt.  I would estimate 1/8^th of the store is taken up with “queso” and yogurt refrigerators. There are limited canned vegetables available but they are very expensive.  A good incentive to eat fresh! 

Speaking of fresh, the bakeries in the local markets here are pretty impressive in both size and assortment of products. This is my diet downfall.  I love fresh baked goods. The only troubling factor is that they are laid out in the open on shelves.  You are given a tray, much like a school cafeteria, on which you place your desired purchase(s). You then take it to the bakery attendant who will bag and price your items.  I have yet to find a set of tongs to use to pick said items up from the shelves.  You guessed it -- someone’s hands may have already been on that incredibly delicious chocolate donut I had been eyeing.  Not to mention the flies.   I do not purchase things from the bakery departments. 

It has taken me all of three months to finally get a sense of how our local grocery store, Chedraui, is laid out.  You can find just about anything in a grocery store; clothing, household goods, TVs, and appliances.  Further, you will find some cleaning products in one aisle, then others in a different one, and there is no methodology that I can think of that would explain this phenomenon.  There is no logic to the store layout. 

Mole

Another interesting food found in stores here that you will not necessarily find elsewhere are pots of multiple varieties of mole (pronounced “mo-lay”).   Mole is used for a number of sauces in Mexican cuisine.  The signature ingredient is a small quantity of dark chocolate.  This gives the sauce a rich quality and slightly bittersweet taste.  Not all mole sauces are the same. Families pass down their recipes through generations.  Mainly served with poultry, this can also be used on fish and vegetables. The sauce is very labor-intensive to make, so I’m sure those that use it are happy to find a good selection at the market.  I have to admit I haven’t mustered the courage to try it yet.   Maybe I’ll order it in a restaurant first. 

We have been able to purchase fresh fish directly from the docks here in our community, which has been a definite plus.  There is nothing like grilled fresh mahi mahi (what they call dorado) that was just caught the very same morning.  Chicken and pork are very popular, but buyer beware -- Where’s the beef?  We have not had much luck finding it.  It never dawned on me, having visited here for some time and then moving here, you do not see cattle farms.  All beef is imported either from elsewhere in Mexico, or most often Argentina.  Between the fresh produce, lack of available red meat, avoidance of baked goods, and lack of processed foods, we certainly are eating healthier than before. 

The other dilemma I found myself in was trying to find basic products (pantry staples).  I would have to look up the Spanish name for the products I was looking for to have on hand in the store.  You have no idea how many types of flour are available here.  Fortunately there are pictures on the side of the packages that show you what that particular flour is used for. 

You can find some products from the United States, but you will pay far more for them here.  For instance, I have always used Dow Scrubbing Bubbles to clean my bathrooms.  Everyone has a favorite and that’s mine.  I finally found some, randomly, at one of the markets here. At home I would pay around $3.00USD for a can of it, but here it was closer to $10.00USD.   I still bought it, because I really do love my Scrubbing Bubbles.  Next trip home, the suitcase will have a few cans in it!  Along with Domino brown sugar, McCormick’s vanilla, and Bumble Bee albacore tuna in water.  I cannot find those here, and the Mexican equivalents are just not working for me. 

While shopping, once you’ve been able to find what you want, the checkout experience begins.  I have yet to find an English-speaking check out clerk.  I am totally fine with this.  I believe that since I am in their country, I need to learn their language (and I am). I only mention it as something to keep in mind.  

Using charge cards in the grocery stores here is really a major undertaking, so we take pesos most of the time now.  Those very helpful baggers you find at the end of the checkout lane earn only the tips that you provide them, so be generous.  The same is true for gas station attendants here.  You are not allowed to pump your own gas, and those that pump it for you (and wash your windows), earn only tips.  But that is a story for another day and another blog. 

I’m sure many folks have had their own experiences with grocery shopping in another country.  Let me know if any of you have more to add about shopping in Mexico.