There are these cactuses in Mexico –
I’m sure they’re in other places too, but I’ve only ever seen them in Mexico –
that are like flat paddles with long sharp needle-like things on them, so they
are prickly. If you grab them without thick gloves it feels like your hand was
dipped in acid for about two minutes, which is a long time when your hand feels
like it’s been dipped in acid. During those two minutes you’re running to wash
your hands and then you’re washing your hands and you can’t think of anything else
except the blinding pain. And then the pain subsides and it’s hard to remember
how badly it hurt. Kind of like
childbirth, the pain is unbearable, but it passes, and then you forget (until
next time). 
This is what homesickness feels like,
except the blinding pain is inside you so there’s no washing it out; you’ve got
to ride it out until it subsides. And when you’re fully ensconced in a life
that’s thousands of miles from the aforementioned home, you pray it does
subside because the alternative – a tailspin into abject unhappiness followed
by the crash of an enormous life change – is unthinkable. In the meantime, your
existence is pulled apart as you go through your life here while your heart and
soul are there, even if you are living in paradise.
A few things should be noted about
homesickness:
•
It’s not the same as missing a
person or a place, although missing can turn into
homesickness if not kept in check. If you’re missing someone, get in contact
with them ASAP. If it’s a place you’re missing, do whatever you can to have the
place you’re in overwhelm you.
•
It’s not the same as home
pride. I cry like a baby whenever I hear the National Anthem
over here, but it doesn’t make me want to take the next plane to America.
•
It’s not the same as negative
culture shock, at least as far as expats go. While
culture shock is a very real thing, it makes you more pissed off and
disconcerted than anything else. Homesickness makes you ache.
•
It’s dangerous to mistake
nostalgia for homesickness. You can’t bring back the past,
even if you go back to the physical place.
•
It’s always a big freaking
surprise. There’s no predicting it, which means there’s no avoiding
it.
•
Its trigger is inconsistent. You can look at a photo or listen to a song or watch a movie or
hear from someone back home a million times with no homesickness; then it
triggers a crushing weight of homesickness; then the next time you’re fine.
•
It’s out of your control. Although I’m not sure why you’d want to, theoretically you
could work yourself into a lather missing someone through conscious effort.
Homesickness is more like actual sickness, like a cold – you’re feeling fine
and all of sudden, “Dammit, now where did this stuffy nose come from?”
And, like a cold, homesickness does
subside and get better. “This too shall
pass.”
The key to avoiding any type of rapid
reoccurrence of homesickness is to stay busy, meet new friends, embrace your
new surroundings and new culture. GET
OFF THE COUCH AND OUT OF THE HOUSE!!! Go for a walk. The more you walk, the quicker you
will become a local, spewing off your own advice on how best to get from point
A to point B. Furthermore, as we all know, exercise releases endorphins which
reduce stress and elevate mood. So when your transition away from home brings
its inevitable downswings, walking will cheer you up. As long as you are not walking to the bar daily - alcohol isn't going to help.
On the flip-side, you’re in a new city or town, and/or country, so make sure that you explore
the elements of your new surroundings that make it unique. Buy a guidebook and
hit all the hot tourist spots. Even if it feels cheesy, those landmarks,
museums, and adventures are part of what makes your new home special, so go see
what all the fuss is about. In fact, this new practice of hitting the hot-spots
is a good habit to bring home with you after your stay abroad; when you return,
look at your “old” town with fresh eyes and visit all those special places that
you’ve been meaning to check-out, but just haven’t made the time for yet. Just
as living like a local in a new place has amazing rewards, so does sometimes
living like a tourist in your old hometown.
